This piece may be heavy for some. My mamas know I keep it real, raw and true. I hope you feel it.
What is black motherhood? Sacrifice, patience, love without limits, perseverance, loyalty, understanding, selflessness, comfort, honesty—I could honestly sit here and go on and on about how unique, special and even challenging black motherhood is. Yes, challenging. Let me touch on the challenging part real quick. Contrary to popular belief, there are challenges/struggles in black motherhood, daily. Most times they aren’t even discussed or acknowledged. I know, when we picture the “black mother”, we vision masculine strengths (especially if you’re a single mother), resilience, pride, determination, etc. It’s almost like we’re groomed to carry the weight of the world, endure, and continue to be super-mom while we go through. “Through”—opposition, hardships, betrayal, discomfort. Can I go even deeper? Ok, cool. As a black mother—I struggle everyday with finding that balance between sheltering my children and letting them into the world. Why? They’re black. Let’s talk about it.
I’m raising two black children. One male and one female. Let’s start with my son, Nasir. Mind you he’s one, going on two. Yeah I’m already thinking about this. I HAVE to teach him from an early age that he’s not going to be very liked because he’s a black male. Why teach him at an early age? The world will not be teaching my children. Their father and I will be. In today’s society, a child can find anything on social media, google, anything and watch different stuff on tv. We plan to be honest and open with our children. As we are now. We set the tone when we tech them, so anything outside will not deter our children away from their morals, codes and self respect. Let’s face it. My son is more likely to be frowned upon, discriminated against, disliked, etc because the color of his skin, and the fact that he’s a male gives people more ammo to hate, harm or put him in harms way. We hear and see it everyday in the news. True story, my younger brother was recently found guilty of a crime he did not commit. He’s innocent! He’s doing time behind bars that he does not deserve. At all. What’s black motherhood? It’s protecting ours, teaching ours, grooming ours, preparing ours. Now, let’s talk about my daughter, Mckenzie. She’s a black female. She’s two, going on three. Yeah, I’m already thinking about this. She’s going to have to work ten times harder than the average person. People will be intimidated by her knowledge and self-respect. As a mother, it’s my duty to introduce, give her ample knowledge and the tools she will need to prosper. Again, the world will not be teaching her, neither will her friends. Her father and I will be. What’s black motherhood? It’s being a teacher, being a provider, being a listener.
With all this being said, I wouldn’t change one bit of black motherhood. I take pride in being a black mother. We’re that first piece of teaching our children how valuable they are. We breed winners. We raise soldiers. It’s beautiful! We instill greatness, daily. Doing it for the culture, daily.